Side A
Side B
And how!
We’re in the old boy’s club now fellas
Am I moving too fast?
Where there’s letters and leathers and tweed to tell us
We’ve found our way at last
So I’ll take my place in an overstuffed chair
Over there, furthest from the door
Cozy up with a bottle of “Nevermore”
‘Til nothing exists but the now
And how!
Be still my heart, be still my bones
I’m deadly buried all alone
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know
That was our goal so long ago
And little lulls lead to distraction,
Put on airs of satisfaction
Scream “Land ho!” on the sands and shores of death we’ve come to know
The sooner the better I would guess
The sooner the better
Just say yes
You see accounts of my moonlit encounters
They tend to exaggerate
With no fodder or fuel for my fireI
I find myself in dire straits
I feel like I’m floating just inside my skin
Skimming the edges I’m living within
A gossamer curtain floats over my eyes
Layers on layers of tulle block the skies
Where the snakes and the rakes jubilate their day
Here I stand disagreeing with memory
And what is reality anyway,
If not what you think it to be?
And how!
Don’t be a stranger I declare
Tear out those locks of silver hair
Shatter the windows, you will see
The path you tread belongs to me
And with the view now unobstructed
Into this annal you’re inducted
Soon you’ll be among the bees and other things of which you dreamed
Come along before this train jumps the tracks
The sooner the better
Don’t look back
You see it’s here I’ve erected my haven
Selected my troops and perfected my brazen
Approach and attack and I’ve decided that
This ground is as sacred as any so
Rip open your skin, let the sunshine in
Better to die than succumb to the wind
A flighty young thing, temperamental as time
One day you’re an angel, the next you’re a swine
Holding crystal to prove you won’t fade away
As if fractals hold any significance
But what is the point of love anyway
If not to pretend we’re not into this
And how!
And when the clocks declare you’re through
That brings the end of me and you
And when the gods come out to see
The fraying threads of you and me
They’ll shed a tear or two, not three
But we’ll not beg cause that’s beneath us
Split their finest gifts between us
Cause they’ve got nothing left to teach us
And how!
Rumble
The promise of gravity feels a threat
And I’m lying in my grave at the age of sixteen
Thinking of all the things that I’ve not had the time to do yet
And you’re lying in your bed at three hundred and four
Got a fever you’re burning up a hundred and three
You must be thankful for all the things you will not have to see
It’s just interpretation
You merchants of intimidation
Such a pretty sight to see
On fire the world can be
The grand finale you have waited for
It’s been a little bit touch and go
At the first you refused to know
Coming up on a little too late
Well it’s a Friday night and where are you?
Clutching ice in your hand, jumping off of the world
Keeping company with mars because the end’s not nigh for you
And we’re picking our way through the undergrowth
Trying not to get caught in your undertow
Keep our heads above water don’t ya know oh you don’t know
It’s just interpretation
You merchants of intimidation
Such a pretty sight to see
On fire the world can be
The grand finale you have waited for
It’s been a little bit touch and go
At the first you refused to know
Coming up on a little too late
And I’ll wipe out my family tree
I won’t suffer them to see
This downward spiral ends with me
The world that would will never be
And I’m feeling tricked myself
Ya I’ve been in better health
The inheritance that on us fell
Casts a bitter spell
The promise of ease becomes a trap
Not easily escaped and that
I know we’ve all fallen into, into which the end’s been shaped
But she’ll keep turning anyway
Long after we have had our day
When we’re all dead and gone I dream that green will right itself from gray
What’s this interpretation
I see no room for negotiation
Such a pitiful sight to see
Water up to your knees
Wade through mud and tears and salt and sea
These merchants of intimidation
Marching to the death, to the whole damn nation
Such a pretty sight to see
On the fire the world can be
The grand finale nobody asked for
It’s been a little bit touch and go
At the first you refused to know
Coming up on a little too late
High on a Hill
I was up so high
Bird’s eye view, now the ground is rushing toward me
Stuck on a string and I don’t feel anything cause it’s dumb, cliché, and boring
I was holding out for hope that I didn’t want someone to catch me
Cause your footsteps would bring you here all along
And it was foretold that I would swoon, that I would crumble at your feet
Right in front of me
I fall but on the ground I see
Mismatched socks with holes sticking out stained and dusty, pointed pleather things
Strike one, two, three, tell me who’s up next, excuse me
Which coiffed up prince steps up to bat to use me?
The life that I was meant to leave consumes me, you assume
That me and all my petty dreams will lose me
My chance at at anything real
But what’s more real than the world inside my head
I can touch it, I can feel it,
You can’t just waltz in and steal it
Quite frankly I’m amused that you would try
But credit where credit is due
If it could be anyone it would be you
Cause your chariot was coming all along
And it was foretold that I would reach the highest heights and I would fall
And on my deathbed I would sing a lovely tune
But I croak and I see in the mirror that this dignity will be denied me too
I wrap and wrap around your finger
Just to unwind myself again
I’d say that you were special
But I’ve done the same for lesser men
I’ve prayed to God
I’ve prayed to Satan
I’ve prayed to come alive again
In weaker moments I even prayed
That you would be mine again
But I remember when I was on the hill top, oh so high
I would look down from the clouds and watch the world pass me by
I was once in charge of the plot my life would follow
I let it get away from me and now I feel so hollow
I was up so high
Bird’s eye view, now the ground rushes toward me
I was stuck upon a string and I don’t feel anything
Because it’s dumb, cause it’s cliché, and cause it’s boring
I foolishly held out hope that there’d be someone waiting right out here to catch me
Johnny Dreamt His Dream Came True Last Night
Johnny dreams
Every night and day it’s all the same
And Johnny schemes
It doesn’t matter that it’s all a game
I don’t know what he knows
But I think he’s met his match
And he’s never gonna let it go
Never gonna stop till everything is going down
Right on time
Johnny dreamt his dream came true last night
Johnny prays
He’s on a mission and he’s on his knees
And Johnny’s days
Are spent just tugging on his rosary
There’s just no tomorrow
Without an answer to his prayer
But he’s never gonna let it go
Never gonna stop till everything is happening
Right on time
And Johnny dreamt his dream came true last night
Johnny dreams
Every night and day it’s all the same
And Johnny seems
Like he’s forgotten the rules to his own game
I don’t know what he knows
But I think he’s met his match
And he’s never gonna stop it now
Never gonna stop til everything is going down
Right on time
Johnny dreamt his dream came true last night (3x)
Pray for the Night
And with fate before me
I fear no darkness
For I have lived and died a blind man
To be reborn an old soul trapped inside the confines
Of the young and able bodies
The optimists and lovers
Those bloodshot eyes that curse the sunrise
And pray for the night to come
I was never so removed as when I was with you
I was too close and you, you were too bright
And I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t the sight of you
I carry no fear of prowling noises
And howling wolves that leave two choices
To run away and stay or fight through either way we’ll fail For the ones we used to hold up
Blew air beneath their wings
Have cast aside what we have taught them
To gain what we withheld
A hopeless cause is better than none, or so they say
When they’ve run out of reasons to talk themselves out of turning away
And with fate before me
I see a long road
To deliver me far from my home
To save the day or die in vain, oh well, at least I tried And that’s all that really matters
Yeah, I’ve got a story to tell
To people who’ll listen
To people who care
So I may as well
And with fate before me
I fear no darkness
For I have lived and died a blind man
To be reborn an old soul trapped inside the confines
Of the young and able bodies
The curious and true
Those bloodshot eyes that curse the sunrise
And pray for the night to come
Those tired eyes that lay awaiting
And pray for the night to come
Fuckup
Did I fuck up again?
My mistake it poisons, pulsing through my head
Pooling in my gut
But so what?
I force myself to deserve what I got
Trade a king-sized bed for a nasty little cot
And I’m caught up in all these things that I’ve done wrong
And so I’m telling you
The worst is yet to come
I haven’t even yet begun
To become
Some sorry sad sack on the run
I’m a fuckup through and through
I feel I’ve messed up, done wrong by you
And I’ll say it first
So I don’t have to hear you say something worse
I don’t know what came over me
Left excuses at the door so anyone could see
I’m tearing at the seams
And it seems not to be
Enough
In lieu of an apology
I’ll flap my lips together for a verse or three
Hoping to impart
Open my heart
Get across the lengths I go to beat my back against the wall
To forget I didn’t call
When the hammer comes down from this fist of mine
I’ll beat you to the punch and make a wreckage of my life
I’ve no need to tell you
The worst is yet to come
I haven’t even yet begun
To become
Some sorry sad sack on the run
I’m a fuckup through and through
I feel I’ve messed up, done wrong by you
And I’ll say it first
So I don’t have to hear you say something worse
You better brace yourself, my friend
I know that you’ve been waiting long
But when I come upon an end
I would do anything not to be wrong
Time ticks off chances one by one
I tried to stop it all for naught
So I throw myself under the bus
Let my conscience come undone
Spill my soul upon the pavement in the sun
I’ve come here to tell you
I know I’ve been unfair
And it’s a lot to ask you to care
When you’re the one
That I have been hiding from
I did you dirty this I know
It’s hard to wrap my head around so
I’ll take this cut, I’ll say my sorries, salt the wounds that I made up
The worst is yet to come
I haven’t even yet begun
To become
Some sorry sad sack on the run
I’m a fuckup through and through
I fear I’ve messed up, I’ve done wrong by you
And I’ll say it first
So I don’t have to hear you say something worse
The Sun Will Muck It up More Than The Rain Will
The sun will muck it up more than the rain will
Hold fast to the windowsill
It’s cool despite the rays, this chill is filling up my soul but still
The sun it makes it’s way around
On each and every corner found
And even as I’m homeward bound
I miss the ways the rain came falling down
And on the flat, gray stones
I press my cheek, leave me alone
This heat it burns my patient bones
So trample me in the overgrowth
The sun will muck it up more than the rain would
Keep a hold on all that’s good
It’s hard to feel I’ve understood
What rays that tell me I should
The sun it makes it’s way about
Spreading seeds faster than doubt
And even as hope starts to sprout
I miss the ways the rain came falling down
Ground up my eyes to dust
And do with them whate’re you must
Take my heart and lungs and liver too
Feed the dirt that brought me here to you
The sun will muck it up more than the rain will
Hold fast to the windowsill
It’s cool despite the rays, this chill is filling up my soul but still
The sun it makes it’s way around
On each and every corner found
And even as I’m homeward bound
I wish the rain would pour on down
lt's almost certain I’ll be drowned
By all the things to which I am bound
But even as I find I’m found
I miss the ways the rain came falling down
Tremuluxe Deluxe
It’ll beat your psycho killer
Your next best-selling thriller
Fill your soul, make your head thinner
Apply generously here, just a dollop over there
Got everything you need, boys, girls, and sinners
Never need to shave again, understand the hearts of men
Eight hours straight, never need to find your zen
Limited time, get in line, get a glimpse of divine
All you go-getters out there, the answer to your prayer
You know what you need
Pick up your telephone dial what you see on your screen
Get it soon before supply runs out
Step up little lady
Get your Tremuluxe Deluxe
Forget your hunger, forget the heat
Forget other men’s promises, we won’t beat
That’s your friendly neighborhood guarantee
Don’t wanna waste your time, do you think I would lie?
You would see through it and it would waste mine
Trust the seal of approval of all humankind
Tell me why are you waiting, are you out of your mind?
Step up my good friend
Get your Tremuluxe Deluxe
Oh no, but you’re shrewd you wanna see it in action
Check that it’s just to your satisfaction
That’s a sensible thing
Or you could trust in your gut that you know what you need
Why should you hold back, you were born to lead?
You trend-setting, go-getting powerful maker of change
A light shining forth for the new age
And just when you think that this offer’s too good
I’ll promise you something I’m not sure I should
The big boss will kill me, but you won’t believe
This little bonus gift I’ve got hidden up my sleeve
Never gonna toss again or fear what lives in your head
You can invite the whole world to your bed
The more the merrier, the martyrs, the meaningless matters
Oh you’ve twisted my arm
I’ll give you a dream
Senseless oblivion finally giving you what you need
You’re quite welcome, but no need to thank me
Step up everybody
Get your Tremuluxe Deluxe
Modern
Well you’re so modern
You can’t help but get the words out of your mouth
You’re just hoping that someone will commend you
Will depend on you
The latest fashions
Hold naught but a candle to your great wisdom
Your foresight for the times
Not a good girl anymore
You’ve no concern for social mores
Let them catch their way up to you
If they dare
Well you’re always game
A word of discomfort’s never passed your lips
You’re along for the ride just like the last time
And the time before
You’ve got opinions to be sure
Keep them to yourself
And you’ll scuttle along
Well you’re so dynamic, erratic, and out of your mind
The ecstasy rides up, down, around your spine
A ripple, you tipple, and what do you find?
A lack of attention, you’re gonna be fine
Too many things you know too little
Too many things you know too well
To all the things you’ll leave behind
Tossed aside for the great here and now
And what is respectable now
Makes you sick and upset in the head
And isn’t it just delectable how
The myth of tradition is dead?
Well I guess you’ve got it
That indescribable mark that brands you an ineffable starlet
You’re thoroughly streamlined
Got your eye on the target
Starting tomorrow you’re gonna be, you’re gonna be
You’re gonna be unspeakably fatal
Take the truths of which you dream from grave to cradle
Leave us earthly sods in the hands of the willing and able
Scrape the muck from off your feet
A treat for your faithful
You messiah, you angel
Dynamic, erratic, and out of your mind
You wild, flower child, divine
Alone in the world and alone in your kind
A ripple, you tipple, and what do you find?
A lack of attention, but honey you’re gonna be fine
À la fin de la nuit
Je ne veux pas me coucher
À la fin de la nuit
Je ne veux pas rêver
Je déteste les rêves
À cause de toutes les choses
Qui me rendent un peu folle
Je n’ai pas envie de penser
Ni maintenant ni jamais
Taisez vous, taisez vous
Toutes ces voix dans ma tête
Veulent me jeter aux oubliettes
Je ne sais jamais rien
À la fin de la nuit
Il y a trop de choses que moi,
Je ne peux pas croire
Tous ce qui me suit
Partout où j’y vais
Ne cessera pas ni maintenant ni jamais plus
Taisez vous, taisez vous
Toutes ces voix dans ma tête
Veulent me jeter aux oubliettes
Personne ne sait ce qui se passe
À la fin de la nuit
Et je ne sais jamais rien
À la fin de la nuit
Someone New
I'm in a preparatory state
And I'm running out of days
Waiting for real life to start
And is it strange so very strange
That I am let down
When I'm face to face with the One
And they're as holy as I feared
Narrowing it down
The world that once opened up to me
But I've felt deep down
That the infinity of darkness is a comforting thing
And who's to say this isn't real
This in-between place, this mirror and my face don't match
Up quite like they used to
So let's assume I'm growing old
And not becoming someone new
I haven't been a kid since the age of forty-five
I aged the moment they told me
That some things weren't meant to fly
But I can't say they were wrong
Cause I'm stuck here on the ground, only falling stars around me in the dust
I find the pieces I can't pick up
They're puzzle shaped and I don't want to know
What they're trying to spell out for me
I'll never be ready
To read the words, which she once wrote:
A product, an effigy
And who's to say this isn't real
This in-between place, this mirror and my face don't match
Up quite like they used to
So let's assume I'm growing old
And not becoming someone new
And how can I ever know what I am?
If I'm never tested or stripped down for parts?
It's not as though I can simulate the coming of the end
Don't know if in my marrow I wouldn't push them off the cliff
And who's to say this isn't real
This in-between place, this mirror and my face don't match
Up quite like they used to
So let's assume I'm growing old
And not becoming someone new
And in the street side symphony
I can pretend I'm the conductor
And everyone's answering to me
Though one day that might be real
For now I'm content,
Well I can't imagine anything else
At the Same Time
Every moment in time is happening at the same time
Unfolding at the same time
Unwinding at the same time
Every moment in time is happening at the same time
Unfolding at the same time
Unspooling, you’re fooling yourself again
Clench your fist I
Hope you prove me wrong
Cause just last night I
Crawled out of my cave
Hoping to find it never happened
Oh crying out for shame
I stumble out to see the same is happening again
Every moment in time is happening at the same time
Unfolding at the same time
Unwinding at the same time
Every moment in time is happening at the same time
Unfolding at the same time
Undoing, you’re screwing yourself over again
Clench your teeth I
Can see your muscles and your veins
Pulsing, pumping
But you’re at my feet again
Trying to prove you really matter
That you’re even alive
I’d like to believe you
But I’ve seen what happened so many time with my own eyes
It just so happens that I’d like to melt
Into a hundred pieces of myself
So I could bide the fraction living with you dead
And so it goes no beginning, middle, or end
Every moment in time is happening at the same time
Unfolding at the same time
Unwinding at the same time (ad nauseam)
What a sorry sight uncoiling under my bite
A bitter taste, a crying shame, don’t shut those eyes
Tell me it’s all a joke, the end won’t come before I croak
Let the curtain fall and start over just one more time
I crawled out of my cave, another sorry sight
It’s happening at the same time
Unspooling, you’re fooling yourself again
Clench your fist I
Hope you prove me wrong
Words Fail
Little ones I hope
We promise you a lot
Little ones I hope
That we follow through
Little ones you’ll learn
That words too often fail
Little ones in the end
It just comes down to you
Again
I can’t help thinking
I can’t help being in my head
I can’t help thinking that I’m stuck here til I’m dead
And they get caught, these lessons each generation we must learn
The end is bought with blood
The precious kind we never earn
I thought when I was you
I would do the things I swore I’d do
When the end came
When it happened to me
But now the end is near
I’m cowering in fear
Nothing but guilt that I’ve stockpiled
For a hundred fucking years
And it gets old I know my darlings
These excuses and these sorries
But they're all I’ve got
Just these words and this body
This body
Don't Change Your Mind
Don’t change your mind on me
Just hold on I am the one to be
Moving on, going strong, telling you that it’s all wrong
Cause it’s too early, don’t desert me
Til I’m gone
We’re out tonight
I held it tight
This curse behind my lips
This mis-adventure leading me into abyss and I can’t stand this
Mentality that I might be
Coping my way through life
Waiting on the time of day from you
Don’t change your mind, I’m sorry
Just keep on, and I’ll keep on denying
That this body has betrayed me
Gone and left me in this skin
To a melee deep within me
That I can’t win
My graciousness demands itself its place upon the stage
To think of the spite I bite back in the name of all
That’s good for me how could I be
Some forceful optimist only to
Turn a bitter corner into blinding rage
Don’t change your mind
I hope I haven’t offended
Wouldn’t dare, wouldn’t dream
Don’t think I could if I tried it
Your very essence traces a golden finger round my heart
Your lasso’s got me down
You drive away and I am found
Wanting, I’m imploring you
To stay a little, stay a while
Oh could it be so hard?
Be I unbearable as that, better to live apart?
I mean I almost wish we never met, never knew, never loved, never saw
A death before its time unfolds
A bracing, haunting, chilling cold
My friend, if I may be so bold:
Don’t change your mind, I’ll try to move on
It’s just that I’ve got nothing to hold on
To hold on to when the world has wrenched me away from you
Prematurely, was I not worthy?
Copacetic
When I finally become the image of me
I can cease and leave this mortal cage
For the only thing I ever wanted to be
Was the beauteous child of love, light, and rage
When I finally become the image of me
And I’m where I belong up there with the greats
I’ve no thought of eating or sleeping or breathing
I can stop being me and start being me
Show me the shape of my life
Rid me of this strife
This sky looks like something I’ve seen before
And it’s no more real than you or I
I’ve got no answers, there is no use asking me for
Anything, the memories just slip me by
I cried so beautifully over you one winter’s night
Though I haven’t seen you in over ten years
I did not miss you exactly, it just felt right in the moment
To expel this emotion and pay homage to whatever was there
Show me the shape of my life
Rid me of this strife
The shards of my vanity, a dull, cold knife
But when life is becomes aesthetic
Darling it’s all copacetic